'The Romeo Club' loves starting the day at cafe
That's 'Retired Old Men Eating Out,' in case you were wondering

By David M. Weinstein
The Princeton Packet
Friday, Feb. 23, 2001

Members of "The Romeo Club" that gathered on a recent Thursday are, clockwise from top left, Sergio Bonotto, Tom Hartmann, Robert Lessing, Stuart Robson, Edward (Big Ed) Coda, Lester Tibbals Jr., Marshall Clagett and Wesley McCaughan. Staff photo by Frank Wojciechowski

   Call them an eclectic Princeton goulash.
   Thursday morning, they were nine strong around a table at The Cafe, a coffee bar at Bargain Books in the Princeton Shopping Center.
   Some days they are 13 strong — a full group — though they average eight or nine.
   "You have to like doughnuts and coffee," said Sergio Bonotto, a retired Union Carbide chemist-turned-sketch artist, whose collegial greeting cards can be found in stores throughout Princeton
   "I don't want to be ID'd with chocolate and coffee," responded Marshall Clagett, 85, professor emeritus at the Institute for Advanced Study — an expert in the ways of medieval scientists.
   This Thursday morning, they are mostly septuagenarians, with one octogenarian thrown in for good measure.
   "I'm the baby," said Mr. Bonotto, 75.
   Except for one who has been married a mere 49 years, they have all passed golden anniversary stage — each a one-marriage man.
   "The credit should go to our wives," said Robert Lessing, 79, retired from DuPont, where he learned and exercised his expertise in textile and synthetic fibers. "Are you going to quote that?"
   They are also a retired research chemist, professors emeritus of journalism and psychology at Rutgers, the former and first headmaster at Princeton Day School, a local tax assessor and perhaps the foremost and most highly regarded scholar on medieval science in the world.
   "He won't tell you that, but it's true," said Wesley McCaughan, 76, about the 85-year-old Dr. Clagett, who sat to his right.
   All but three were officers in World War II; two of those three were enlisted men.
   "We don't ask them to walk a few paces behind us," said the smiling retired Lt. Lessing, U. S. Navy, as if it's an old joke.
   "No salutes here," quickly added Lt. Commander Edward "Big Ed" Coda, 78, a fellow retired naval officer, successful salesman and current "expert in avoiding work."
   All are Retired Old Men Eating Out or members of The Romeo Club, to whom Ebenezer Scrooge is a stated but somewhat misleading inspiration. Curmudgeons, though, these men are not.
   They came together at The Cafe a few months ago, but started conversing at tables over coffee five years before that, meeting after exercise walks at The Russian Tea Room, the bakery at the shopping center.
   "One in the same" they are, said Mr. McCaughan, a former teacher at Princeton Day School, where he was director of admissions.
   No headline or rumor or obscure detail has a chance to escape their collective good-natured and serious scrutiny, their wit and quickness of banter, their depth in conversation.
   "When I'm not busy, I lean on the counter here and eavesdrop," The Cafe's owner, John Cross, said Thursday morning, throwing his glance to the two tables pulled together at which the Romeos sit every Monday, Tuesday, Thursday and Friday. "The wisdom is amazing; their open-mindedness and knowledge mind-boggling."
   "These kinds of groups are forming in many communities," Mr. Lessing said. "Men after 70 are looking for structure when the career is over. This is a career substitute."
   There are no retired misanthropes here. If one showed up, he would most definitely be welcome, but would likely be made to smile or get conversational about politics or history or both as they relate to World War II.
   "Everything in the past comes out here," said 85-year old Lester Tibbals Jr., retired from his American history lectures at Princeton Day School.
   "You could say the place is awash in past glories," Mr. Lessing said. "The dominance of the past is in all our conversations."
   "That's what you can remember. You can't remember 10 minutes ago," said Mr. McCaughan, breaking into a smile.
   The leader of this group, Mr. McCaughan is himself remembered well.
   In the book, "Still Me," authored by actor Christopher Reeve — a former Princeton Day School student of Mr. McCaughan — Mr. Reeve directly relates his decision to pursue acting with classroom methods used by the ancient history instructor to convey lectures into storytelling.
   A man who may or may not be as fondly remembered is former Princeton Borough and Township Tax Assessor Stuart Robson, who will be 87 next month.
   "The most hated man in town," Mr. McCaughan said, good-naturedly.
   "We pick up a few followers here every once in a while," Mr. Robson said.
   One, a woman, walks by with a cup of coffee and is all smiles for the table of men.
   "They flirt with us because they know they're safe," Mr. Coda said.
   Mr. McCaughan said the essence of the group is friendship.
   "As more guys sat down, and as time went on, we liked what we saw," he said.
   "There are differences of opinion," said Thomas Hartmann, the first headmaster at Princeton Day School and professor emeritus of journalism at Rutgers.
   "We keep our passions in check," he said. "Well, some of us — not all.